I Gave This to God... So Why Is It Still Here?

Have you ever prayed about something over and over again… only to find that the fear, pain, anxiety, insecurity, or struggle still hasn’t left?

In this episode, we’re having a real conversation about surrender, healing, faith, and why some struggles don’t disappear the moment we “give them to God.”

Because maybe healing was never meant to be self-abandonment.
 Maybe God isn’t asking you to silence your emotions, disconnect from yourself, or pretend you’re okay.
 Maybe He’s inviting you into deeper truth, stronger boundaries, greater self-trust, and real alignment.

Inside this episode, we talk about:
 ✨ Why surrender and passivity are not the same thing
 ✨ How emotions can actually reveal where healing is needed
 ✨ Why some cycles keep repeating in relationships, money, and self-worth
 ✨ The connection between boundaries, nervous system safety, and faith
 ✨ What it looks like to stop abandoning yourself while walking with God

If you’ve ever thought:
 “I gave this to God… so why does it still hurt?”
 this episode is for you.

Because sometimes God doesn’t immediately remove the storm…
 sometimes He teaches us how to stand differently inside of it.

🎙️ If this episode spoke to you, make sure to share it with someone who needs encouragement in their healing journey.

#ChristianWomen #HealingJourney #Boundaries #FaithAndHealing #SelfTrust #TraumaHealing #WomenEntrepreneurs #EmotionalHealing #NervousSystemHealing #TheOtherSideOfTheStruggle

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 2:27

Hey everyone, welcome back to another episode of the other side of the struggle. Okay, we're diving into something that has come up for me a few times, has come up for past clients, and something that I think happens a lot. I know for a fact I have definitely been here more than once, and it is this idea that I gave this up to God. I thought I thought I'd healed this, I thought I had released this, I thought I was doing better. So why is it here again? Why is it still here? And oh guys, like I know the frustration the frustration that that brings because when you work so hard to heal from something and it keeps coming back, it's like come on, we've already hatched this out, come on, right? But in truth, it's just something that still needs to come up and out, right? Oftentimes, like if we give ourselves, if we look at ourselves through the lens of compassion on this one for just a minute, sometimes when things take more time to heal, when we've done work on it, and then it still is something that we need to work further on, that usually means that it's something that really has ran pretty deep. And so we have to just keep working on it. So here's the deal. I don't want you asking yourself, though, if God didn't hear you, if you didn't have enough faith, and I don't want you to start questioning yourself because of it. Like, you know, why is this still here if I've already surrendered it? What's wrong with me? Why can't I get rid of this, right? What if healing just isn't for me? What if I'm not meant to heal? What if it's not happening for me? I don't want you thinking that because today I really want to have a conversation with you about what surrender actually is. We think giving something to God means that we'll never feel it again, that we'll never feel discomfort around it again. But surrender was never about escaping the process, it was about learning how to walk through the process differently and deeper each time and understand ourselves on a deeper level. It's really an invitation. Surrender is an invitation to understand ourselves and our Father in heaven and Christ deeper. And it's just an invitation coming up to do that again because God removes some things instantly, but other things He wants us to walk through intentionally because the process itself is building us. And let me give you an example, a personal example of this in my own life. You know, I've I've dealt with deep betrayal, and even though I've been helping women heal, and men now actually heal from deep-seated trauma for years, you know, I'm going into the social work field. I'm I'm currently right now getting my master's degree in social work as well, just because why not? I mean, I may as well, right? And I mean, I can honestly say that one of the things that keeps coming back for me is this feeling that people are never going to understand me, you know, and that hurts. It's not fun. And unfortunately, even though I've got really, really good boundaries, it's something that keeps coming up. And I notice it like when people create drama in my life, or when somebody accuses me of something, or when somebody doesn't give me a chance, or somebody doesn't want to hear what I have to say. I have been I have been demanded to be silent before, like and actually fairly recent, somebody didn't want to hear what I had to say, and sometimes I just choose not to be around people like that, right? So I get it, and there's things inside of that pain that I still need to understand, there's things that I still need to learn and surrender, because surrendering helps me understand myself better, it helps me understand God better, and it helps me understand my relationship with Him better. So even though it's not the funnest thing in the world to have to experience again, I'm willing to do it if it leads me to deeper understanding and deeper truth and loving myself more. Because that's really what matters. Even though relationships are incredibly important, they are the thing that we take with us into the next life. Our relationship with self is the one thing we can never separate from. Ever. And so that's why it's so important. See, I think one of the hardest parts of healing is realizing that we often pray for relief while God is trying to build a relationship. See, I look at it this way. We are maybe in pain, but if we get immediately re get immediate relief, we're not focusing on the one that's holding our hand. Helping us through it, talking to us through it. You know, I look back at the times that I've had my kids, right? And the whole birthing process. It's pretty intense, and there are times I'm just like, please give me relief, right? But because that process was intense, because growing the baby was intense, because what I was growing and what I was birthing was intense. When I finally did have that relief because I went through the process, I loved what I had created so much more. This is kind of the same thing. When we have to go through this again, it's just another step to that birthing process, something new coming from us, and this new creation of ourselves, this new level coming up and out. We're birthing ourselves again, literally. And that can feel frustrating though, like when you're hurting, when you really want that relief. But sometimes we don't want a process, we want peace immediately. But real peace isn't avoiding like what we need to go through, it's stability in the middle of uncertainty. It's stability with God, it's stability with Him and from Him, stability inside of ourselves. And I think this is where a lot of people accidentally disconnect from themselves on a spiritual and mental plane. Because they really do. They think like if I still feel this way, I must be failing somehow. And they're landing in self-judgment instead of self-compassion. Because feeling something doesn't mean you failed, it just means it's there's more information. There's just simply more information that needs to come up and out for you to hone and shape yourself in the way that God wants you to be. What part of this is still not healed? So that way, because healing is is the process of coming back to ourselves entirely or understanding ourselves on a different level. It is not the process of judging ourselves, it's the process of accepting all parts of us. That is what healing is. See, this is where I think people accidentally confuse surrender with passivity. They think, well, I gave it to God, so now I'm not supposed to feel anything, I'm not supposed to think about it, I'm not supposed to address it, I'm just supposed to wait. But remember that surrender is not self-abandonment. Sometimes people use spirituality to disconnect from their own emotions, themselves, their boundaries, their intuition, and their own responsibilities. But that's just using an excuse and saying it's spirituality. Spirituality helps us own ourselves, our life, and all parts of ourselves and love ourselves. Because God gave us awareness for a reason. So that way we could use our agency with wisdom. He gave us our emotions for a reason to get our attention to something. He gave us discernment so that way we could use the agency that's in front of it. Your emotions are not to interrupt your spirituality. They won't do that. They're just invitations for you to find a deeper truth. That's all. So this is why I say that your emotions are the voice of your self-compassion, not your judgment. If you're landing in judgment, you still need to go further, you still need to explore this further. You haven't gone deep enough because when you get into self-compassion, you will find boundary. I am respectful, I am amazing. These I am statements, and they're no longer just simple affirmations, because when they're in the affirmation stage, that's a boundary in infancy. It's something that you would like, but you don't quite believe it yet. A boundary is a knowing that this is who you are, and you're not going to act outside of it. No matter what. It's a boundary. Emotions reveal where something inside of us needs to be heard. And when we silence that voice, we stay stuck in the cycles that God was actually trying to help us get out of and move through to understand, become wise. Sometimes the very thing we keep praying God will remove is actually the thing revealing the boundary we need to build. It's the hammer. And we cannot build very well without that hammer, and sometimes hammers strike thumbs. It's not fun. But the thumb will heal. We can't build without the necessary tools. Sometimes things stay because we keep trying to survive instead of learn. And I'm not trying to say that to make that sting. But if we are in survival, we're not in thrival. We are asking for relief, and relief can help, give us some perspective. So it's okay to ask for relief. But don't ask for it to be completely taken away until we understand it. So if it keeps coming up, it just means that there's more understanding, more wisdom that's down there to help us completely heal from this. This is an opportunity to become wise. Because we still don't believe we're worthy of honesty, consistency, and respect if we're asking for it to be taken away instead of learn from it. If we're trying to survive, if we're just simply trying to survive it and not learn from it, oftentimes there's a self-belief down there where maybe we don't believe that we're worthy enough. If this still is coming up, maybe this is evidence that we're somehow still broken, and that's just simply not true. If a financial struggle keeps cycling, maybe we don't trust ourselves to create stability. If burnout keeps happening, maybe we are not trusting ourselves to override, or maybe we're not trusting ourselves to not override our own limits to prove to prove our worth to someone else. And if our anxiety keeps screaming, maybe it's because our nervous system still believes we're somehow unsafe. What happens is people keep asking God to remove the symptom without actually understanding the root cause. This is something we get really irritated about in the medical system some days. And I'm not saying anything against doctors, guys. You guys are great. I know I've got a lot of doctors and nurses and people in the medical system that listen to this podcast, and oftentimes they actually do agree that Western medicine doesn't always address the problem. Sometimes it just addresses the symptom. You know, to give you an example there, I have uh recently kind of this is gross, guys, I'm sorry, but I've started getting kind of a drippy nose. So like if I if I lean over something or I bend forward, my nose immediately starts dripping like a faucet, and I'm like, uh, no, this is this is not cool. But when I went to go talk to a doctor recently about it, I was kind of brushed off and told to go put some flonase up my nose, and I'm like, What why? Why is this happening? Oh, you know, we don't usually see it in people your age, but maybe you're just aging quicker. Well, thanks for that. I think there's something else going on. So I felt a little abandoned during that moment because somebody that should know the answers as to why it's happening just knows what to prescribe for the symptom to make the symptom quote unquote go away and not actually address it at its root. We tend to do the same thing with our emotions if we're not listening to them and understanding them or asking ourselves, oh, why is this back again, right? And trying to silence it or just address the symptom. We're basically doing the same thing. We need to anchor in, just sit with ourselves for a moment. We're not here to abandon ourselves, we're not here to say we're ridiculous, we're not here to judge ourselves, we're just here to sit in the emotion and say, okay, there's here's more, okay. What else do I need to learn? What wisdom is waiting for me underneath this again? And we get to address, like, am I gonna judge myself if this keeps coming up? No. What if one of our boundaries with ourselves is that we don't judge ourselves, we give ourselves compassion no matter what? What if that was one of our boundaries? Healing isn't symptom management, it's transformation, it's change. Transformation requires honesty. That's why I think one of the most spiritual things a person can say is God show me where I'm leaving myself behind. Because suddenly when I started asking this, when I started bringing all these pieces that I thought were broken back together and loving those pieces better. And loving all parts of me. I stopped waiting for my external world to change first, and I started allowing God to strengthen me now. And that's when boundaries started making sense to me, not as a punishment, not as walls, but just alignment with the person that God created me to be. That was a wonderful thing. That's stewardship. Me living what I was created to be. That's truth, that's love. God did not make any mistakes in the way that He created me. Not one. He made me exactly as I am. And it's my job to discover who she is and love and appreciate her the way that God loves and appreciates me. Because that is honoring God. I also want to talk about something that honestly gets ignored, I think, sometimes in spiritual conversations, and that is faith still requires action. It still requires movement. Faith is a verb, it is not a noun necessarily. Sometimes it is, but it's an action, it's a verb, it's something that we have to take action upon. Noah still had to build an ark, Moses had to lift the staff, David had to pick up the stone and fling it. Faith isn't passive. Sometimes people are waiting for God to do something, but God is waiting for us to step into the circle and act. And that doesn't mean you earn healing, it just simply means that you're partnering partnering with it. When David stepped into that circle with God, he didn't question that God would deliver him from Goliath. And we get to ask ourselves, what is our Goliath? Maybe our Goliath didn't die with just one stone. Like, maybe we knocked it out. Thought it was dead. And then it comes back again. Yay us. So we have to fling another stone at it. But God still delivers us. Look at Daniel. He was actually taken from Jerusalem into Babylon in captivity. likely he never saw his family again. He was put in Nebuchadnezzar's household to be one of his wise men. He was wise though because he stepped into the circle. Maybe God never delivered him from Babylon. But God delivered him from the lions. God did deliver him from his enemies, even though he lived in Babylon for the rest of his life. He still felt free because he lived inside of that circle with God. And that's our duty too to participate, practice and embody, act upon the faith. This is why boundaries matter so much. Because boundaries are not just rules, they are an embodiment of truth. They are how we live inside of our values consistently. And consistency builds trust, including self-trust. So when someone says I gave this to God, why is it still here? Sometimes that answer is because God is trying to teach you how to hold yourself differently while it's still here. God is trying to give you another level of wisdom. That's it. Trust yourself while while it's here. Speak to yourself while it's here for yourself. Have your own back while it's here because eventually that internal shift changes what you tolerate what you choose what you pursue and what you believe and eventually what you create. Guys I totally get it you know right now if I'm going to be vulnerable with you right now I'm recording this podcast and I'm sitting here saying who this has been a really heavy week financially for me. I created over$3500 in less than two weeks and in literally about two or three days that was gone. And I know you guys can understand that because you've seen how fast money can go right we just recently had to have my dog neutered and that was quite a expense. It was not an easy thing for the vet to do. And that took up a large chunk of that change. And so as I'm sit like I thought I'd put uh enough money away for my buzz sprout the the subscription service I used to do my my podcasts on I thought I'd put enough away in my business account to cover that cost when it came through but I just recently found out that it bounced because I had a couple other bills business bills that came through that I had forgotten about so there's some things I can learn right like this like even right now I'm going through this in a bit of a financial way do I trust myself to be able to create the money I need to renew the business account right to renew my bus sprat account so that way these podcasts do come out because I would like to see them come out more consistently because I want to be consistent for you do I trust that God can help me find the money it's not that much right do I trust that he can help me find it quickly do I trust myself to ask him what should I do? And do I trust myself to act in a way that things are going to go through that things are going to work. It's an opportunity for me to come back and say okay I've done a lot of work on my money story which is my self-love story right I've done a lot of work on this do I love myself enough? Can I love myself enough to create$50 today? Maybe I make some cinnamon rolls for people maybe I sell some chicken eggs maybe I like there's there's a lot of things I can do I'm going to sit down and write like all the different ways to make the money and trust the process because I already said I was going to do that. This coming up isn't proof that somehow I failed in my business or I failed you guys or I failed I failed this is not failure. This is just an opportunity for me to anchor in and do what I said I was going to do which is I'm going to trust God more when it comes to finances I'm going to organize more when it comes to finances and I'm going to support myself more when it comes to finances I'm going to be wise when it comes to finances right the lack of the finances is doesn't prove anything negative to me. It's simply an opportunity for me to gain more wisdom so I think that this is especially important for people who grew up with chaos, betrayal inconsistency criticism abandonment emotional unpredictability or even physical instability when your nervous system has been conditioned for survival not thrival peace can actually feel really uncomfortable I've seen it so many times I'm actually seeing in a good friend right now who's going through some pretty severe trauma or had gone I should say she's gone through some really severe trauma and I can hear in her voice how unstable she feels right now. Because when we've been conditioned to take hit after hit after hit after hit and we just consistently brace ourselves for the next time when one doesn't come for a long time that actually can feel very unsafe because it's almost like where is it where is it where is it I can't brace myself for this and that's what your amygdala and your nervous system are saying. So peace can feel really uncomfortable and unsafe actually because your nervous system has spent years learning that hypervigilance equals protection and that hypervigilance causes hyperactivity in your amygdala and your nervous system this is why healing isn't just spiritual it's emotional, relational physical and mental and this is why boundaries are so important because boundaries teach the nervous system I am safe enough to tell the truth I am safe enough to rest I am safe to say no I am safe enough to stop proving I don't need to do the prove it problem and I'm safe enough to exist without abandoning myself I am safe because I exist within myself and my my savior and father we are a team we are one people are not lacking faith necessarily they're lacking safety and I want you to think about something what if the fact that it keeps coming up is also proof to you like it's proof that you're still trying you're still praying you're still growing you're still searching you're still listening and you're still not abandoning yourself and that God isn't abandoning you inside this process either what if it's the process itself that is the evidence of his presence in your life because he's actually showing you that there's still more that needs to be healed. There's still more that he needs to take and work with you on because I think that sometimes we imagine God's presence only looks like immediate rescue but sometimes his presence looks like strengthening us because when weak things become strong they are no longer a weak thing that's wisdom that's conviction that's awareness and courage slowly growing and confidence it looks like someone who no longer is willing to abandon themselves so if you've been asking God why is this still here I want to gently offer you another question and again what is this trying to teach me what more do I need to learn what is the wisdom underneath this because maybe this thing isn't here to destroy you it's here to reveal how incredible you are your deep wisdom and where healing is needed where truth is needed more boundaries are needed where self-trust is needed and where alignment is needed and maybe God isn't asking you to pretend that you're okay that you're healed maybe he's asking you to walk honestly with him while healing unfolds that you don't have to do it alone because he's with you. So my loves also if you love this episode if it spoke to you feel free to share it especially with somebody you know could that could benefit from it and if you want help with your personal boundaries and seeing the truth of yourself seeing you like really seeing yourself as who you are feel free to schedule that call it's in the dis the link is in the descriptions we'll sit down for 60 minutes you and I and we'll go through your boundaries not to judge you but to awaken yourself to really start adding truth love and joy back in so that way you can live your life with the fullest truth freedom and joy so that way you know what your next steps are that way clarity becomes a part of your life and if you want to be heard seen valued and appreciated and you're ready book that call all right my loves until next week I'll see you on the other side. Bye